You're Not Yourself, Part I

On muddy field, a football game is played

The down begins, the players clash and spread.

There's Betty White, all slow and close to dead,

A staggering receiver, needing aid!

She's tackled hard and sent back to her side.

With taunts and gripes they beg her to improve,

"Like Betty White you seem to dodge and move!"

"That isn't what your girlfriend said last night!"

Then, "Have a Snickers," Betty's girlfriend calls.

"You're not yourself when hungry," she explains.

The Snickers eaten, Davey is recalled,

His Betty White conversion unmaintained.

Now Davey runs like lightning, catching balls.

(Alas, as QB, Abe Vigoda's pained.)